And they grow fast

It's true what they say, kids do grow up fast, and even though it doesn't feel like it because you are in the everyday, one day you look and they are already doing new things, and the old things are just old. One day they play with fruits, and the next day all they want to do is "read" books.  Next month she will be one year and 6 months old. 

The mom stays in the picture

I love the wisdom of Allison's words when she wrote a piece for the Huffington Post urging mothers to stay in their children's pictures.  I AM so guilty of the opposite.  Having taken hundreds of pictures of my daughter with my camera and cellphone, I went looking for a decent picture of us among them after reading her article, and it made me sad to realize I was only visible in less than 10.  This is a dismay.  I'm correcting this right away.  I want my children to see me in pictures.  To see their mom, young, vibrant, tired, overwhelmed but perfectly part of their lives.  I went browsing through my childhood albums, and my own mother was absent in many of them.  She was the picture taker, yet she could have easily handed someone else the camera.  So I went and dug the only pictures I have with my baby daughter to show you here.  I'm not perfect, in fact, I don't like how I look in them, but they are the ONLY pictures she'll see of me at this age.

Anything but bedtime

Have you struggled with bedtime before? Emilu's bedtime is late. It always has been. Being a high needs baby AND a poor sleeper almost immediately left us no options, but to basically follow her lead on this one. Our own pediatrician suggested it. Not all children are 7 o'clock bedtime sleepers. It's OK to push bedtime for when she's tired. The only problem is our nights are not are own. The good side of this: Since she's taking one long afternoon nap (usually 2 hours or more) we can cajole her to go back to sleep around 6ish when most 7 o'clock bedtime sleepers are waking up for the day. She takes her bottle at that time and we usually snooze until 8ish.

Summer: A day at the pool

On our last Sunday on the island our uncle (dad's brother) invited us to spend a quiet day at their home, in the hills of Santiago, a place called Jacagua Hills, just outside the city. We barbequed, bathed in the pool, and then had lunch al fresco.  More pictures of that day will be posted separately.  Emilu had a blast.  She clearly enjoyed the water, and the view is just as fantastic.  Getting out of the pool was a huge deal.  She wanted to do it unassisted. Mission accomplished.

Emilu: 12 months of life

We came back home on Wednesday, and Thursday we had a Pediatrician appointment. She was given her shots, and they drew blood for the first time. Emilu kicked her legs and cried like never before, but thank goodness she was poked once only. She weighs 21 and half pounds and her height is 30 inches tall. Where did the months go?  I remember bringing her home from the hospital, the sleepless nights that followed and all the giggling and babbling she learned to do after.  Here's a month by month (12) picture strip of her first year of life. My baby is a now a toddler.

Growing

Babies do grow fast. Makes me want to hit the pause button for a little while. Impossible. Time is flying. It's inexorable.

Am I mom enough?

Attachment parenting is not for everyone.  It wasn't for me.  When Emilu had trouble sleeping (constantly waking up during the night) I didn't allow her to cry, but I also didn't allow her to sleep the night in our bed, and co-sleeping is one of the tenets of attachment parenting.  Lately, however, I have grown more relaxed with allowing her to crash in our bed in the wee hours of the morning, from around 4 a.m. When I first saw the May 21st Time Magazine cover article on this very topic, I knew people would get hung up on the misconceptions, but I also understood why many  readers would think this "extreme parenting" style as excessive.

I'm half way in agreement with attachment parenting to the extent that I would never let my child cry out for any reason, much less for sleep training purposes.  I was rather surprised that our own Pediatrician would recommend this as early as 4 months, citing a myriad of reasons for it. I just ignored him. I also agree that organic and local foods (a priority in our household) should be baby's food. I breastfed my daughter until 10 months old, but I also stopped feeding her at night, because in my opinion a baby that's around 8 months old and is eating solids doesn't need food around the clock.  I established a schedule around this time that will go on to become a foundation of healthy eating habits for the rest of her life.  I babywore my daughter and sometimes still do around the house, but I also push a stroller everywhere and feel that this is the best way to be on the go.  And finally, cloth diapering was the best decision I've ever done.

When I read Time's Extended breastfeeding, I realized that I had unknowingly being following some of the propositions of attachment parenting, and that's when it hit me. Up until the other day, I had to use the bathroom or cook a meal with my daughter in arms, yet I don't consider myself an attachment parent.  This is what mothers do. All over the world. This obsessive need of categorizing and naming every little parenting method when raising our kids is becoming a corrosive ticking time bomb that will only, and ultimately hurt our society.

Is this about extreme parenting or more about our bruised egos?  A need for recognition and important titles for our maternal efforts in lieu of intellectual, social or professional rewards?  An attachment parent is most likely to be at home raising kids and so busy and attached to their offspring that it would be difficult for them to fill their intellectual and professional vessel -at least for a few years- which ultimately leads to a quest for valid psychological and social recognition for their way of parenting.   Surely when my mother raised us, extreme parenting wasn't even a word in their vocabulary.  Same when she was raised. There may not be a simple answer for this, but we may be becoming more and more obsessed with every detail, every milestone in our kids' lives.  My daughter is only one year old, and I'm becoming saturated with all the literature out there about the type of parent I should be at every stage.  I stopped reading when my daughter was born.  Partially because I didn't have the time,but also because I had a built-in instinct I was eager to use.  So what if your kid is overweight and you decide to put her on a diet? You are the parent, you should be able to do this! And what if you decide early on to home school or extend breast-feeding or allow TV (Emilu loves her CBeebies) or go non-organic. You are the parent!

I seem to recall how a few months ago, there was a buzz around the blogosphere about French style parenting. We were impressed by how French kids were well behaved and well-mannered, and how French mothers kept their womanhood and glamour intact.  Now that's what I would call the opposite of attachment parenting. Who has time for nail appointments and shopping? French women do. Are the French bad parents too?  Three months ago we were praising their techniques, now we strike them as inferior?

Are we not good enough parents, or worst yet, bad parents?  If there’s a problem in parenting today, perhaps it’s the pressure so many parents feel to be perfect (attachment parenting? French style?) and to find the right formula. But there is no perfect formula for parenting, only principles that can help guide the way. Ultimately there should be enough common sense to say that what's right for your family is the best parenting you can do.Can't we just relax and enjoy parenting, without feeling inferior or superior to other people or is it something that’s simply bound to be full of angst and pressure?

A birthday is soon approaching

 I still cannot believe our daughter is turning one next week. She was born on May 8th of last year. Her arrival was nothing short of exciting and miraculous. After three days of labor, a birth becomes extraordinary. In this short amount of time she has become a headstrong little lady with a luminous personality and a physical presence. At the playground, she's the one wanting to be close to other kids to touch them, chat them up (more like babble) and just to "experience" them. This, I find fascinating, because being a Taurus is about experiencing things with your whole body. It's the most sensuous sign of the zodiac, the one with the need to use its five senses simultaneously or you run the risk of getting scratched off easily.

My little lady here has been slowly graduating from being a high needs baby to becoming an independent, observant and intense toddler. Where does she get this temperament?  I can't wait to find out more.  In the meantime, I'm starting a letter for her about our lives together this past year, and all the hidden lessons I've come to learn by being a mother to her.  I hope she's proud of it, and one day can read it to her own children.


PS: If it was up to her, she'd be content being on top of me the whole day. I included this picture of her in the baby wrap to show you how attached she still is to her mami, even though she's excited about learning to walk, choosing more often than before to do this on her own (proud momma grin!)

From baby food to toddler meals

We have transitioned.  Left behind the baby food and embraced real meals for my growing, soon-to-be one year old. This stage of eating is involved and requires creativity. Watching for nutrient rich foods and at the same time, tasty enough that she'll want to eat them. Gone are the days of breast-milk, formula, and liquid foods.  She now wants to hold the spoon, eat with her hands, and chew down her food.

Recently she stopped desiring the cereal-formula mix I gave her for breakfast everyday. She slapped that dish down and splashed everything around her. She did the same with her fruity, spoon-fed, liquidy afternoon snack (smashed fruits watered down). No more, mom. I want food that I can chew, and touch! So I listened.

We have finally reached the stage where we all sit down for dinner/lunch and eat the same meals.  Hallelujah!

Eleven months

If you feel you days are slow and drab, try having a baby, I guarantee you this will change.  This high needs baby of mine is now 11 months old! and there's a sea of difference in her personality and temperament now, than when she was a small baby. This girl is impatient, stubborn and so curious already.  She could hear the subtlest sound at the end of the room, and off she goes like Inspector Gadget to investigate what it is.

There's also a hint of naughtiness in her budding personality I can't seem to shake off.  When she wants something, she wants it now.  She's also done a couple of solo standings, meaning she stands for a few seconds on her own, and then plops down.  Now that crawling is her signature way of getting around everywhere, I have to keep our floors cleaned all the time.  I usually do this everyday while she's having breakfast in her high chair.  Living in the grounds of a split level apt. building means all the dust and dirt from the streets easily sips in through the windows and doors.  I'm also teaching her the body parts and she already knows how to send a kiss, wave goodbye, call you with her hand, give you a hug and is now trying to whistle.  Sounds crazy right?  But my brother, at this age already knew how to whistle, except he made the sound inhaling air, instead of exhaling, and she's doing the same thing!

**A few things she does, which makes me a happy mama**

+  greets her dad when he walks in from work.
+ gives hugs to her dolls and toys
+ sometimes she hides toys from me
+ dances to tunes in TV, especially the Downton Abbey introduction music
+ mastered the "goodbye" wave, the "come" hand command.
+ points to her head when I say HEAD, and to her tummy when I say TUMMY (and that's about all, I'm teaching her the rest of the body parts)
+ points to everything
+ claps on command
+ puts her toys away when I start picking them up
+ calls everyone "dadada"
+ eats solids, which include potatoes, pasta, chicken, broccoli, rice, spinach, avocado and asparagus for lunch, and fruits and yogurt for afternoon snacks
+ dances to music on TV
+ religiously enjoys watching her CBeebies every morning during breakfast
+ chooses her own clothes by pointing which one she likes to wear
+ gives the most heart-warming hugs ever
+ wants a taste of what you are eating always, no exceptions
+ loves, loves, really loves grapes!

Sweet girl, you are my everything.  Thanks for making a proud mama out of me. Also her birthday is coming up soon.  I need to start planning that. How about your babies?  Did they do something funny or endearing which made you swell with pride?