Growing a family

I had an epiphany.  I want more children.  A house full of children's giggles, tiny rain boots collected at the door, DIY tents waiting to be built, and chalkboard walls full of silly scribbles.  Tonight as I was putting Emilu to sleep, and laying next to her, I had the uncontrollable urge to hug her and stop her from growing so fast.  Suddenly, I felt in control, capable and resourceful, and with a tremendous strength to bear anything heavy and strong.  I realize that more children for me, also means not wanting to work full-time, for a while. At the beginning of my domestic life I used to complain a little, and still do, about my poor sleeping, constant tiredness, and lack of time to do the things I love.  But, it turns out, I really enjoy spending my days without a work schedule, enjoying our daughter and raising her, cooking for our family, discovering new, fresh ways to decorate, renovate, grow, and live our home.  I figure we only have a life to do the things we really love well, and this is the thing I LOVE now. I love putting her to sleep, and watching her bounce around the house with no purpose, yet confident she'll soon find what she's looking for just around the corner.  I love our quiet crafty afternoons, and late afternoon trips to the playground, and miss her when she naps for 2 hours or more (finally!) in the day.  Call me crazy, and give me all the I told you so I deserve, but this is really the best deal ever.  It just takes time to get used to.  A few tweaks here and there, and things DO get easier. Of course, not everyday is dreamy and inspiring.  Some days are tiring and overwhelming.  It's the pendulum of life.  I guess with a second child, we won't have to pull our hairs out, or complain about lack of sleep or time, because things do get easier, much faster, and just plain better when what you want is staring you in the face giving you hugs and tapping your back gently and pulling your hair, and rubbing her nose against yours, and calling you mama, and crying for your attention, and loving what you just did to her belly.

When I grow up all I want is a home to grow a family in.

How do they do it?

 My husband has been out for four days now, and I just want to snooze for a whole month. Hats off to single parent homes.  Moms and dads who depend on no one to help raise and educate their kids, and do a great job. I admire their strength. But it's much more than tired nights and achy hands.  Small nuances: Lonely nights with a sick kid, no time to fix the lightbulb in the hallway, no one to make you feel safe,  the quiet and empty space next to you in bed.  Really, how do they do it, day in and day out? Again, hats off!

Photography: Through my lens

Some snapshots of the grounds around my parent's Miami home.

First a hand, then the whole heart

As you can see I'm still going through the pile of pictures from our vacation in the DR. This set of images I took one day during lunch in my mom's apt. My grandmother had lunch with us almost everyday. It was our time together, and one of the most fulfilling hours of the day. After lunch, we'd have coffee and dessert, and Emilu would play on the floor until her nap time. Then we'd all take a little siesta (I never could). That was my time at the computer. When we first arrived, Emilu was shy and introverted toward my grandmother. She always is. I think her white hair  makes Emilu distinctively suspiscious. But, my grandmother never acted dissapointed by her reactions. She would tell me that children raised by their mothers, especially around this age, are more attached and more suspicious of strangers.  She would even tell me not to let her whimper when she'd see her.  My grandmother is acutely distressed by babies' cries, especially when they are avoidable.  So, everyday we would set out to modestly have her interact with my grandmother on her own terms.  And my grandmother, who's wise and patient, would entice Emilu with small gestures, little by little, day by day, until she finally gave her a giggle, then a hand, and finally, the day before last, her whole heart.

Summer: A day at the pool

On our last Sunday on the island our uncle (dad's brother) invited us to spend a quiet day at their home, in the hills of Santiago, a place called Jacagua Hills, just outside the city. We barbequed, bathed in the pool, and then had lunch al fresco.  More pictures of that day will be posted separately.  Emilu had a blast.  She clearly enjoyed the water, and the view is just as fantastic.  Getting out of the pool was a huge deal.  She wanted to do it unassisted. Mission accomplished.

Grandpa's old farm

Growing up, grandpa's old farm was the idyllic place to spend the day during weekends. Through our innocent eyes, the farm was a place full of mystery and animals. My grandfather's mare was our ride of choice, and we could feed the pigs in their piggy quarters. There were chickens, fowls, and occasionally a few wild rabbits roaming everywhere. Today the farm animals are gone, with the exception of the 30 something year old mare, who gave birth to a colt soon after my grandpa's passing, and a old mule.  The colt is of no particular breed, more like a mutt, because we don't know who the father is.  He's what you call a country horse, goes by the name of San Miguel, and is my mother's fancy.  There are also four female dogs, formerly homeless and now living happily in the farm. 

My grandfather passed away three years ago. The lives of these animals are deeply anchored with the still beating heart of this farm. The farm may not be what it was once. But the animals give it life, and as long as they are here, the farm will too.

Little by little I'm learning to take pictures. It's not easy, even with a good camera. Sometimes, the picture you see in your head is not possible through the lens. I'm learning to appreciate the background, and see the possibilities. Photography is a school of self-discovery.

Recreating the stuff of life

I came across this post on Ohdeedoh via Apartment Therapy and couldn't help sharing it here.  I have tons of pictures with my parents I would love to recreate with my kid.  Duplicating your parents' prints is a fun way of commemorating your family.  The website responsible for the idea is called Like Mom, Like Dad: Recreating Pictures of your Parents. Here are a few samples. For more samples checkout their website.