Anything but bedtime

Have you struggled with bedtime before? Emilu's bedtime is late. It always has been. Being a high needs baby AND a poor sleeper almost immediately left us no options, but to basically follow her lead on this one. Our own pediatrician suggested it. Not all children are 7 o'clock bedtime sleepers. It's OK to push bedtime for when she's tired. The only problem is our nights are not are own. The good side of this: Since she's taking one long afternoon nap (usually 2 hours or more) we can cajole her to go back to sleep around 6ish when most 7 o'clock bedtime sleepers are waking up for the day. She takes her bottle at that time and we usually snooze until 8ish.

Immunizations

{Photo by me}

Happy Monday everyone! Today my mother arrives from visiting my brother in NY.  After a bumpy weekend in the sleeping deprived department (Emilu's immunizations were to blame) we are ready to welcome her for a couple of days. Speaking of immunizations, how's your experienced with them?  Although doctors here swear that there aren't any real symptomatic changes in behavior, I disagree wholeheartedly. They tell you that your kids might be crankier than usual. Nothing more. But really, underneath that crankiness must be something more tangible.  Dominican doctors are more open minded.  They tell you without reservations that the next 72 hours following shots are bound to affect your kids enormously.  Headaches, tiredness, fevers, mild diarrhea, changes in appetite, sleep, and overall schedules. They gregariously admit that immunization effects is a contentious field that hasn't  been appropriately studied. Therefore, you have to be open-minded.

This reminds me of a conversation I once had with my mother, who was a 2nd year medical student when she changed majors in college.  She told me that she didn't want to approach end of life in this country.  When she's old and cannot fend for herself, she wants her kids (my brother and I) to accommodate her as much as possible in her own home with a live-in nurse in the island.  She hopes to never have to rely on the American healthcare system, especially at the end of life. And we will try hard to make those wishes come true. How about you friends?  Are your kids visibly affected by immunizations?

Milestones and Resources

Our baby daughter is 5 and 1/2 months old. Where has time gone?  She now sits unassisted and is starting to learn the pincer grasp (I know!).

One thing we still struggle with is sleep.  Every time she turns a month older, her sleep patterns get all out of sync.  It happened at 3 months and at 4 months.  It seems to be a combination of factors, none of which seems to be hunger or growth spurts.  From teething to overstimulation due to developmental growth, she knows and experiences them all.  I found a great online resource about the secrets of babies behavior ( highly recommended) and this has somewhat helped mitigate my own fears and how I deal with these struggles. 

One thing I really enjoy is the fact that she now likes activities more and more.  Also her attention spam seems to be getting larger.  Now that she can sit for longer stretches without being propped or assisted, she has become a little more independent.  And this frees me from having to be next to her all the time.

As far as teeth go, we still haven't seen the elusive pearly whites yet.  I can't wait to see those suckers and finally start solids.  We have postponed solids until she's 6 months old, due to the initial allergic reaction she had to rice cereal a month ago. 

Sleep no more

Remember that post I wrote about Emilu having a good night sleep the night she had rice cereal for the first time?  First-timer's charm I'd call it.  She's back to being a high needs baby, waking up an average of 2 times during the night.  This time, we will blame the teething. She's sometimes uncomfortable during the day.  As long as she's sleeping 12-14 hours a day I'm a happy mom, and she makes it up during the day.

Here she is wearing Mommy's favorite PJs:  the cow outfit.

"Oh my.. my rump has grown!"

I guess I could go crazy or lose my head over this, but I won't.  I don't read the literature out there or make it a point to "train" her to sleep or stay asleep.  I have decided to ride this as any other event we will face together.  Some people will gasp at this, but let them pass their judgements.  When she is ready, she will do it on her own accord.  

Sleeping Problems

On our trip to Miami back in July, Emilu started miraculously sleeping through the night. And continued to do so at home. When we were in NYC visiting my brother a few weeks back, she was still sleeping through the night.  But a few weeks ago,  for some unknown reason, she stopped. She's almost 4 months now.   She used to go down around 11 p.m. and pass out 'till around 5 a.m.  However, good things come to an end, and so they did. 

When she hit 3 months, she started waking up in the middle of the night, wailing.  We thought it was a growth spurt and hoped she would snap out of it.  Here we are and she hasn't. I'd nurse her back to sleep, we'd change her diapers, we'd rock her and shush until she went back to sleep.  Last night she woke up 3 times!   You inevitably ask yourself, what could we be doing wrong?  As soon as she starts stirring, I go to her and start shushing and patting her bum, and when  it's not hunger, this seems to work half the time. The other half, she just wants to be held.  This has continued for 3 weeks now.  It's like going back to the first weeks after birth.  I'm exhausted again.  And now everyone is saying that when she starts getting cereal, night sleeping will be much longer.  Is this true?  Could it be hunger and only that?  Or is my baby a high needs baby at night? What was your experience at this age? Personally I'm torn in between the sleep trainers or crying-out methods, which advocate letting your baby cry until she falls back asleep and the nurturers or attachment parenting.  Most mothers fall in between.

All I know is that this business of motherhood is completely subjective.  What may work for some mothers and babies, may not work for others.  As much as babies are babies, they are still individuals who experience stimuli in different ways. You know you are in good hands when you've tried different systems and found the one that works best for you.

Sleepless in Washington

When Emilu came home with us she wasn't staying asleep.  She also cried so loud I was afraid she would get a hernia.  With the help of our pediatrician we realized she was hungry.  Breastfeeding clearly wasn't enough, so we had to introduce formula with a dropper.  But when she turned 5 weeks, she decided she didn't like to sleep on her back.  She wouldn't stay asleep for five minutes.  We tried the side position, we propped pillows around her but nothing worked.  Then one day, I placed her on her tummy and she slept for four hours straight!  Since then she has been staying asleep for longer.  Babies need their rest, they need to sleep 3-4 hour stretches in REM for brain development. Do I worry about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)?  Yes, some.  But the statistics are so low and the evidence so sparse, I prefer her brain to develop healthy and strong. Besides I'm always policing her sleep and naps. During my mother's time, the tummy position was prevalent.  It was believed that babies could choke on their own spit-up if they were on their backs. For those of you that have children did you ever placed them on their tummies?  I would love to hear what you think was best for you.