March 3, 2011

News from the Womb

This excerpt is a clever way of speculating what the baby might be up to inside the womb. It's a hilarious way to experience pregnancy.  

Weeks 30-31: "The hostess is always moving around and fidgeting. Doesn’t she know that I need some rest – it’s getting very cramped in here. Smashed through the 3 pound barrier last week. I'm seriously considering getting out of here and having a word to the hostess. The deep voiced one keeps prodding me telling me to give him a kick. He’ll get a kick all right, right up the wahzoo when I get out of here. I’ll show him. The hostess has been complaining that he’s a lazy bum who is in for a real shock when the baby comes. Don’t know what that means but sounds like he’s in for a tough time – he deserves it.

I’ve been peeing a lot and I don’t think it’s all getting removed as efficiently as I’d like. I’m now swimming and drinking it. No wonder I’ve started getting the hiccups! Body hair starting to fall out – fat addition showing no sign of abating. Brain keeping me awake at night and I’m getting bored of the view. Might see if I can break out of here somehow. Have started kicking the walls which gets a reaction from the hostess but doesn’t achieve much else."
 Via Diary from the Womb.

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