She's Having a Baby

On Sunday morning I awoke with the slight suspicion that something was amiss, so I decided to take a home pregnancy test.  Being that it was a "sensitive" test, it would detect the HCG hormone present in the urine as early as 4 days prior to the arrival of my period.  So while my husband prepared breakfast, I locked myself in the bathroom and pee on the stick.  I then shut the lights, sat on the floor, remained very calm and waited the three minutes.  After about 5 minutes, I sprang up, switched the light on, and took the stick in my hands and saw this.

I gasped not knowing what this meant, and because I didn't stop to read the instructions carefully I failed to see that if you are one of those impatient women, then this was the normal outcome, a faint line.

I went back to the instructions (so easy to read and in graphics, thanks Answer) and then called my husband.  He stood there looking at the stick, a smile forming on his lips, and said to me, " You are pregnant!" But are you sure, I kept saying.  Then we both looked at the images and saw two options for a positive pregnancy, a bright and a faint line. "See, yours looks like this."

So there you have it.  We giggled and hugged each other nervously and remained in a state of anxious bliss for the rest of the day.  I had a strange surge of energy that morning.  After having just a cup of espresso I went out to walk the dog twice and then went out for a long brisk walk to the park, until my legs and buns hurt. How could this be so simple!  I'd always imagined a romantic, exotic way of finding out the big news.  Baby dust to all!

Over the Hump?

What are the real-life symptoms of very early pregnancy? Is this myth or reality? Are you supposed to feel anything while the egg is fertilized and implanted? For me, this journey began in the “2ww”, or the 2-week waiting period beginning the day of your last ovulation, assuming the egg was fertilized by a sperm cell, and ending the day when your period is due to arrive. While on my 2ww, I surfed the net many times looking for women’s opinions on their own experiences and anticipation. Here is a forum where women confess very graphically their anxieties and symptoms. If you haven’t yet experience it, you probably will: Couples trying to get conceive are a species of their own, and I had to learn a host of abbreviations for pregnancy terms. Here are a few:

BFP= Big Fat Positive (as in the test line of your pregnancy test)

CM= Cervical Mucus

DPO= Days post-ovulation

AF= Aunt Flow (but I’m sure you knew this)

TTC= Trying to conceive

As for symptoms during the 2ww, I did not have any at all. In fact, I doubt that they are so conspicuous. I remember telling my husband that I didn’t think we had succeeded this first month of trying. If you are one of these women, smacked right in the middle of this torturous waiting period, I found a useful page on Babymed.com with a not so amusing, but very effective list of things to do while you wait to miss your period and do a home pregnancy test. I did about 10 things from that list, and felt less anxious and more productive. I went out and bought candles, re-organized my drawers, did some gardening and browsed nurseries online. I also spent more time with my dog, who was acting clingy for a few days, but I was happy to oblige since he’s not the cuddly-type. And even though I didn't feel any symptoms, I started to foolishly hope that I might be pregnant about 4 days before my period was due when we were lounging in the sofa and Piki, my small Russell terrier, rested his tiny head on my belly which was exposed because it was very hot that day. I will never forget that day. I was peaceful and as long as it lasted, I felt ready to accept the outcome of this.

Prologue

My family is as big as they come by modern times standards. From my mother’s side we are 9 grandchildren and 5 great grand children. From my father’s side, we are 13 grandchildren and 14 great grand children. It could be overwhelming and sometimes not so harmonious. But we miraculously coexist, and family gatherings have their own unique spark, an autonomous light source filling the vast, dark branches of our family tree with its transient beam. As a big family we have experience the entire range of human emotions, including loss, joy, offense, misunderstandings, guilt, negligence, bliss, adultery, reconciliation, divorce, mourning, abuse, faith, new beginnings, disease, forgetfulness and forgiveness.

As a married young woman whose life is carried out far away from this familial disarray, it sometimes can be trying to confront life’s twists and conundrums without the loving guidance and sometimes, annoying meddling of relatives living close by. My husband and I live 1,000 miles away from our respective families, and the journey to start our own family has exposed this in exponential terms.

But we will go forward with no choice but become one of those 21st Century families who live in the city with a toddler, without relatives nearby, except a canine companion and our urbane sensitivity. I didn’t ask for this, but I believe we will be ok, because in the end ife miraculously serves up those in need.

And if by any chance later on, you, our baby, read this, know that your parents have many doubts and great concerns about bringing you into this world. Yes, we are hesitant  because we are practically alone in this, but we are specially endowed to provide you with a wholesome existence because your parents, like many people in this world, are good, decent, sensitive  people with a palpable conscience of both, the pain and joy this world imparts.