Unravelling, the e-course

Last week, I told you about an online course called Unravelling about creativity, community, and connection. Alas, what a great class it is!  A personal journey to finding and making profound connections with your self through shooting pictures and personal journaling.  I will be sharing a picture once week here in the blog of what my lens is shooting.  I invite you to take a look at Susannah's amazing blog. 

Spotted: Kollection note cards

Kollection is a new online stationery shop with sophisticated, yet affordable stationary.  The kind you want to get for all your personal correspondence.  They also have wedding stationary, and even, a men's collection.  I really do see myself writing a note in one of these.

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On fortune

I know that every moment with you is a gift, a blessing and a memory for posterity.  And we are lucky to have those moments so frequent. No. Fortunate. You come, and when you leave, the house is never the same.  It starts with a closet, then a patio hose-down, and ever so subtle all the stains on the wall are magically not there anymore.  An action that somehow washes away the stains on my life-apron.  You run to the pharmacy on your last day and buy multivitamins,  eye creme, and refills for the swifter duster. You are concerned with my health, my beauty routine and my home cleaning.  And who wouldn't want this everyday? I'm a fortunate child. But, it's more than housework.  It's soulwork. 

Our conversations stay forever pending. Because we never run out of things to talk.  Even as you leave, I already have something new to tell you.  The more we talk, the more I have to tell you.  We are fortunate.  A mother and daughter who talk to each other.  There would be no us, if it wasn't for our talking.  To know someone so deeply is to find oneself. And we have found each other. And when I think of my daughter, I can't help but see myself in her, just like I'm with you. Do you believe in the possibility of this continuing on into the next generation? Can Emilu and I ever be this way?  I only dream so.

Here and now

{Photo by me}

Sometimes I have no time to do the things I love.  If I'm not tired, which is never, I'm backed up with housework, which is not the same as being up to my neck with mindwork (usually a good article I have put aside, or the email message from a lost friend,whose reply beckons 30 minutes of my life.) Most times, however, I'm simply struggling to complete a thousand things, which I've began simultaneously in a effort to multitask.

I tell myself if I had the time, this would be an award winning blog.  I would redesign, and go on a one woman-one blog, journalist exploration of themes I'd like to write about, and share.  My pictures would be edited and published in a flash.  My posts would not linger in the draft section for months. And my stories would capture the stumbles and tribulations of womanhood in modern times. Writing used to be second nature. Although never easy, it used to put me at ease.  Like a cold smoothie in a hot day; writing was my treat.  Now, it seems something I must conquer everyday.  Insurmountable and intimidating.  I started this blog when I was pregnant, thinking my creative juices would be flooded with hormones too.  But, it was the opposite effect.  A downward spiral of pregnancy symptoms, followed by a lack of sleep, then REAL lack of sleep when baby was born, and finally, exhaustion in so many levels.

I read many blogs, and every time I find a post that reminds me of something I want to write about or clicks a light on in my head, I immediately find an excuse to avoid writing. Why?  Fear. Insecurity. Tiredness.  Lack of drive.

I don't like this person, I don't even know her.  I want to start writing.  Something.  Anything.  Consequently, and things are always consequent, I decided to start writing. Period. And posting more about the things I want to write about. Period. The changes will be subtle, but permanent.  I will make time for my writing.  And this blog will log those hours.  Making an effort to live in the here and now,  instead of the If I or when I, will be an exercise in perseverance and submission.