Emilu's Birth Story

I’d like to tell you about the time I got it in my head I wanted a natural childbirth. That’s right.  I wanted to experience the raw pain, the ring of fire and the love hormones flooding my body.  You say crazy right?  I say, delusional. But before I begin to recount my experience, I ask you: Why are we in America so obsessed with childbirth?  I get it, it’s special, a memory that lives in us for the rest of our lives.  But aren’t we missing something? It’s not the defining moment people romanticize about.  When everything is said and done, you file it in the back of your mind and then the real work begins. What I took from my birth story is this: Labor is unpredictable and strenuous and childbirth is a jubilant but tiny event in the life of you and your baby. What’s really transformative is the aftermath. It’s both, Kafka’s Metamorphosis and Aphrodite’s craft. And despite recent literature of the New Age kind, it doesn’t matter much how, when and where your baby is born.  Childbirth doesn’t change you. Child bonding does. A bond you will weave from the love, patience, tolerance and compassion you are suddenly endowed with.

Laboring at home

Memories in paradise

My mother showed me this picture the other day and I can't stop looking at it.  This was taken in Sosua beach in the Summer of '78.  My mother is the young woman in the pale yellow tee.  My cousin is talking to my mom and I'm the little girl with the bucket and scoop.  I don't remember much but it sure looks like fun. 

The Birth of Baby X

Image via Los Angeles Times online.

She did it. Brooklyn performance artist Mani Kotak gave birth to Baby X during a gallery exhibition at the Microscope Gallery.  I wrote about this here. As you can imagine the buzz this has generated. Since I wasn't there to witness the birth and see it within the context of art and human experience, I will refrain from a swift judgement.  However, I will opine that the whole thing was unnecessary.  This could have been achieved with still photographs or artifacts, and still demonstrate and capture the mystery of birth. 

Natural Birth?

As I rule of thumb, I'm skeptical of new things.   I'm always second-guessing people's choices or opinions so naturally it was to be expected that I'd do the same when it came to attempting childbirth without pain medication through a small degree of hypnosis and relaxation. Call it the New Age childbirth mindset.

Nowadays it's so common for women to get epidurals or other pain medications during labor.  In fact around 80% of vaginal births in hospitals fall under this category.  With this pregnancy, I had the choice of an obstetrician in a hospital setting or a midwife in a birthing center.  For reasons that can only be understood from the first child perspective, I chose an obstetrician, being my first experience with birth I wanted to make sure that my baby and I received the full measure of medical intervention. The good one.

I have read extensively about epidurals and pain medication, their pros and cons, and I have decided to AT LEAST attempt a natural delivery, meaning NO DRUGS.  Sounds easier said than done right?  For this, I have two books, Active Birth:  The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally and Creative Childbirth:  The Leclaire Method, which I am currently reading, which boost a woman's confidence and level of connection with their unborn child through meditation, relaxation and visualization techniques.  I'm so glad I'm doing this.  Giving my daughter and I at least a chance at following our bodies' signals without fear instead of being numbed or removed from this amazing experience. We have 4 weeks to learn how to cultivate a calm and collected presence during labor. I have already started to persuade her to remain calm and happy during this intense process.  I hope I can do the same. 

Delivery and due dates

How close to your due date did you deliver or will you? (This poll was taken by the pollers at BabyCenter.com  So far 53,000 women have participated. I think it helps tremendously in understanding that due dates are not accurate at all.)

 It's said that less than 5 percent of women give birth on their actual due date. What about you? 

Did you deliver on your due date?

	52%	No, I was early     (I'm praying I'm one of them)
	34%	No, I was late
	14%	Yes, right on time

If you didn't deliver on schedule, how far off were you?

	19%	More than two weeks early
	25%	One to two weeks early
	18%	Less than one week early
	16%	Less than one week late
	18%	One to two weeks late
	3%	More than two weeks late

Braxton Hicks contractions

I have been paying close attention to the subtle changes in my body.  It's amazing how pregnancy gets you in tune with your physical and emotional self, and  I have been prey to some of the symptoms common in the 8th month.  However, I hadn't felt a single Braxton Hicks contraction until late last week.  These contractions are often called "practice contractions"  because they are actually helping you to prepare for labor.  Nature is really wise.  They help to soften your cervix and uterus for your upcoming labor. Without them, labor would actually be much more difficult and painful.  Nevertheless, not all women feel them, they could be as subtle as some of your baby's movements and get swallowed up in the busy schedule of your day, especially if you are an active person.

A couple of nights ago, I was wide awake in bed, product of insomnia, and I started to feel some cramping in the lower middle part of my abdomen radiating down to my buttocks. Voila! Braxton Hicks alright! They lasted about 10 minutes.

But what actually triggers them?  It's really unpredictable, but some accounts suggest common triggers that include: 

• physical activity or exertion
• sexual intercourse
• dehydration
• touching your abdomen
• your baby moving inside your uterus

Last Saturday, my husband and I sprang up to clean our patio after months of Winter neglect.  We re-potted two Majesty palms, cleaned up the strip of soil which houses our boxleaf shrubs and mulched the strip once we were done. We also fertilized the fern and the shrubs.  We also took out the patio bench and swept the floor.  All this activity must have triggered my practice contractions that night.  But it also happens that one of my daughter's most active periods is in the middle of the night. Whatever the reason, I finally know what they feel like and am relieved that things are progressing and my body is gearing up to the big day:  childbirth.

 

Childbirth education class

 My husband and I attended a childbirth education seminar this past weekend for first time pregnant parents.  Around a dozen couples were in attendance, and most of them were as anxious and nervous as we were.  We saw there a couple we had met a couple of years back in confirmation class in our Catholic church and they were also expecting a girl.  It only proves how small this city is.  The majority of the couples were having their baby at Sibley Hospital in town.  The class’s instructor had been a L&D (labor & delivery) nurse there.

She went over the whole scenario of L&D, the biological basics of birthing, the technical details and the emotional experience as well.  She explained several medical terms, likely and unlikely scenarios, and how the staff at Sibley is one of the best in this area of medicine.  I guess my doubts were somewhat calmed down, but I still have fears about the big day that no nurse, doctor or doula will mitigate until I actually find myself in the situation at hand and know my strengths and limitations. Will I succumb to pain medication? Probably, but I’m training myself to avoid it if I can.

I definitely recommend this instructor and this class.  But do expect just to learn the factual side of childbirth.  This is not a prenatal class in the sense of learning techniques of pain management or relaxation and breathing exercises.  

Should childbirth be Painful

This one topic has been in mind everyday since I got pregnant. Because this is my first child I really don't know what to expect come delivery time. Yes, you have a vague idea, you take childbirth classes, you prepare mentally and physically for any mishaps, but can you really be prepared for the pain?

According to this MOMLOGIC article some hail from the school of thought that women should not be given drugs. They should experience the pain, because it makes you a better mother. Really?

I have read some articles that have eased my concerns about experiencing pain. Why are we so scared of it? Because It is painful to birth a child. My mom and grandmother can both attest to that and they are not like these nouveau 21st Century moms who are opting for elected C-sections or the epidural shot the moment they walk into the hospital. Both of them are tough women, who didn't have the option of drugs during childbirth. They do not exaggerate when they tell me it is going to hurt. A lot.

I just don't know if I can personally go through all the pain. I have stopped reading about it because I think the more you read that labor is painful, you will be less willing to go through it. I will take it as it comes. If it's too much for me, pass me the drugs and let's have fun. But if in the grit of pain, I realize it's not unmanageable and the time is ticking faster than I expected, then I might be able to go through it. But please give us the option and educate us about it.  Don't just treat us like cattle.